Often times we spend so much time living in our minds that we forget that the only thing we posses it’s the now. We let fears, dreams, and failures rule our present lives.
Through my years, I have let fear rule most of my life.
Thankfully my life got so bad at one point that the only way out was up. Even when I was climbing out of the hole, there was regret trying to push me down, and future weighing me down by showing me how much I still needed to climb.
I managed to get better, little by little. And now I can tell you my secrets on how to be happy.
1. You can be happy right now.
This is the number one secret of happiness. You don’t need to pay money, you don’t need to become famous, win the lottery, be loved or successful in any way. You can be happy right in this instance.
Life will be much easier once you have realised that everything you need to be happy is and always will be right at your finger tips. This paradigm shift will improve your life by helping you focus in what’s inside and not the external factors that a lot of people get caught up.
2. Don’t dwell in your past failures.
In order to climb the mountains of peace and happiness, you must start by accepting your life the way it is. Surrender to life. Whatever happened was supposed to happen. Nothing could have been different.
It’s normal to get a lot of thoughts of the past. The mind does this to preserve the ego, but if you fuel this ego it will only grow bigger and consume your essence. Don’t let that happen and remind yourself that life just is.
A special technique I use to stop my mind from thinking about my past is by stopping whatever I’m doing, close my eyes and say things that are happening right now. Like – “I’m here, standing in my room, breathing deeply,” I do this to focus my mind in the sensations and sounds around me. If you still feel anxious just keep narrating more things that are happening in the moment and breath. Deeply. Do this for a minute or so and you’ll feel the powerful effects of the present moment.
3. Stop complaining.
This is the first step to changing anything in your life. When you shift your focus from the externals and you focus it on the internals, change happens. Because you focus in what you can control and don’t even bother with what you can’t. This is the pinnacle of a happier life.
Meditation will really help you with this. When you meditate your only job is to observer the body and mind without interfering. You observe your thoughts, your emotions, your breathing, and body sensations but you don’t dwell on them. You don’t attach any emotions to them. Just observe life as it is.
4. Stop neglecting your body and mind.
What will happened if you were to pour water in a container that has a broken end? You’ll notice that it might fill up if you pour a lot of water at once but once the flow stops it will start depleting fast. This is obvious, but how many people try to pour happiness into their life’s only to find out that they too have a broken shell where happiness escapes.
Your body and mind are the most valuable things you possess and you should take care of them. Don’t neglect your body from healthy foods, clean water, sleep, exercise and do not neglect your mind from positive thinking, meditation and books. If you don’t fuel them you’ll eventually be running on fumes.
5. Stop comparing yourself to others.
When you compare yourself to others you are giving away your power. All of it. You start focusing in things you can’t control. Thus making your circle of control even smaller. You literally step away from the driver seat and let others drive you around to whatever destination they decide.
Here is a basic Zen rule on how to be happy.
Do the best you can. Then let go.
Let me repeat that again.
Do the best you can.
THEN LET GO.